Skip To Ma Lu

It’s 4am. I have given up on the prospect of sleeping and am sitting on the beach in Hopkins, watching the silent lightning and attempting to collect my thoughts. I am in Belize. It’s still a hard concept to fully wrap my head around. Sometimes people ask me what brought me to Belize and I’m realizing that I never really have a conclusive answer. The truth is that I don’t exactly know how or why I ended up here, but after three months, here’s a few things I DO know:

-After a summer at Kadesh and deciding not to go back to school, everything just sort of led me in this direction and practically jumped into place.

- I feel at home here, and Belize will always be a part of me. There is no point in my future where I see the absence of Belize and what it has come to mean to me.

-I suppose in some ways I am, but I don’t really feel like a missionary. To me, mission work is sacrificing your time to help those in need. I feel so fortunate to be in this gorgeous country with awe-inspiring children that being here is hardly a sacrifice. Also, I am not needed here. Appreciated, yes. Needed, no. I have grown and learned so much in the past three months that I am definitely the beneficiary in my relationship with Belize.

-I am so excited to be joined by good friends for the last couple months of my stay, but I am also really glad I got to learn and experience Belize for myself first. It was challenging, of course, but I have proved to myself that I am capable of exploring new possibilities outside my comfort zone.

-I am in love with these kids. EVERY single girl, boy, baby, young woman, and young man in the home has irrevocably woven themselves into my heart in some way or other and no matter how devastating it will be for me to leave come June, I wouldn’t change it for the world.

I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to pinpoint exactly how or why I ended up here… but I definitely know that this is precisely where I am supposed to be.

lil' daddy

I started to write the previously promised second edition of my list of things I love and miss, and realized that I have way too many priceless moments involving Edgar to not give him his own entry. Sometimes I just sit back and watch him. It's mesmerizing. He is one of the funniest kids I know, full of so much life and love; I enjoy every minute with him.

EDGAR:

-After putting on a new shirt, clean shorts, and nice sneakers, asks “Miss Stephanie” to smell the visibly wet spot where he’s just sprayed cologne.

-Rolls his eyes and sighs, “Oh my Josh”

-Currently holds the record for highest possible number of times a bike chain can slip off on the way to the park.

-Stands up, pulls the back of his shirt up, and proceeds to scratch his back on the wall… In the middle of class.

-Makes a joke, giggles, then suddenly serious – “Not funny Miss Stephanie”

-Visits my house and makes sure to share the popcorn with other kids... one piece at a time. When it’s time to leave, he folds up the bottom of his shirt to use as a bowl to stash some popcorn for the road says goodbye and heads out the door... only to return a minute later for a refill.

-Wears too-small wheelie shoes to the park and can hardly make it back home because his feet are dying.

-Lectures Leonie - “Miss Stephanie says we should be nice to people”

-Somehow knows everyone in town. Ohhh Papito.

-Tries to do smooth dance moves and stumbles on his huge hiking boots.

-Tries to sneak up and scare Tanya and, again, stumbles on his hikers and wipes out.

-Burps so he can show off his manners – “Eshcuse me”

-Although referred to by most of the family as "Papito" he much prefers being called Edgar. Possibly due to its higher likelihood of attracting girlfriends.

- Steph – “Ou la la!”

Edgar – “Ay Loo La!”

Steph – “No, Ou la la!”

Edgar – “Ay Loo Loo”

-Consistently interesting perspective on things. Gnome = Chihuahua man. Obviously.

-To shoo the dogs, runs/skips away yelling “Ya Ya Ya!”

-Steph – “No way, Jose!” Edgar (And Josiah) – “Yes Jose!”

-Joins the kids in making crafts and designs for himself a pink sparkly crown.

-Loves to smile, run, dance, learn, quote movies, giggle, and is always jam packed with energy. He's a confident, easy going kid, but not often suprises me with moments sensitivity and intuition. My life is definitely more interesting with Edgar around.

One Day At A Time

Yesterday as I rode home through the rolling hills of the breathtaking jungle in a sketchy school bus crammed full of seventy some people, with one kid on my lap, one sleeping on my shoulder, and a tiny baby somehow sleeping quite soundly in my arms, I realized that that was one of those "once in a lifetime" moments that people always talk about. In fact, in the past few months of my life I have had innumerable moments like this. I feel so fortunate to be where I am, hanging out with some of the most amazing kids in the world, literally, and getting to be a part of their lives, just as they are now unarguably a huge part of mine. Every time I look down into the bright eyes of a child I am blown away by how incredibly beautiful and full of life they are. Kids have such honest and naive perspectives of the world, appreciating the small things in life, as we so often overlook and take for granted. It's funny how we try to teach and prepare them for reality and the future, when really we should be learning to live in and appreciate the present as a young child does. We get so caught up in planning and stressing about what's to come that we forget to appreciate our current surroundings, often letting these "once in a lifetime" moments slip past us without a thought. Time never stops ticking. The future is untouchable anyway so why are we always striving to escape the present. I am asking you now to take a moment, stop worrying about tomorrow, and thank God for every blessing in your life today.

Tour Guide

I’ve decided to give you all a little tour of the home. This is my general routine upon arrival at the home most days – when the kids are all home, anyway.

I pull up on my trusty one speed shiny purple beach cruiser, and secure it to a pole so the little kids who seem to lack a single ounce of fear can hop on and wipe out. Laquisha and I have this conversation often:
L: You can carry me on your bike? (Can I ride your bike)

S: No, you’re too little. You weigh less than my pinky finger.

L: No! And I weigh more than your thumb, too! (I’m completely serious, this is her rebuttal)

I turn the key in the lock, successfully ending the argument, and walk in through the kitchen, where a few of the ladies and the older girls are teasing each other in creole and cackling away. After saying hello and updating Faye on Mya, her dog that lives at the volunteer house with me (the one pitbull that I actually don’t mind, probably because she doesn’t want to eat me), I usually run into a bit of a traffic jam in the skinny hallway, often due to a wobbly wandering baby. By the time I hit the computer room I’ve usually run into a couple kids with a few tears and an argument that needs dissipating. More often than not, one of the girls, usually Mia or Lee-Lee has made Josiah cry, poor guy. As I stop to talk to Reyna or Zaira, Edgar sneaks up behind me, gives a little shove and yells “BLAH” followed by a little giggle. He usually then has something really important to tell me in all seriousness, like a new scrape or bike injury. Turning the corner into the playroom I find various combinations of kids sprawled on the couches watching Hannah Montana or something along those lines. I greet the Gual’s and Boi’s and sit down to hang out for a bit, strategically avoiding the area where Jacob is being beat up by Alicia and Colleen, probably getting what he deserves, little punk haha. As soon as the little ones notice I am there, they wander over, knowing full well I’ve got lots of hugs to spare them. Nathan usually slides under one arm as DJ crawls right onto my lap and pops his thumb into his mouth. As soon as I can no longer stand Miley’s crazy antics I continue out to the back porch where Dora, Indora, and Lorena are hanging out, chatting and folding the laundry and keeping an eye on a baby or two. I like spending time here. There’s something calming about folding towel after towel, and Dora keeps me up to date on the house gossip and drama. The basketball court is usually scattered with a few of the older boys and we greet each other with friendly threats to whoop each other at the sport. They reluctantly admit I can hold my own on the court and sometimes we have pretty good matches. Heading towards my little classroom in the front yard I usually run into Marlon on his silver bike and agree to hand over my camera because he loves to take videos while riding his bike around and around the house. It kills the batteries but I usually get cute clips of the kids with Marlon singing made up songs in the background. Nearing the playground I grab whatever Benjamin’s got in his mouth away from him, and try unsuccessfully to wipe the dirt off his face. I scoop him up, and depending on the day, he either squirms and whines or won’t let me put him down for the next half hour. JR, Mia, and Kayleen love to chase each other around on the bikes; putting obstacles in their paths to make the ride more interesting. I call them crazy, chase them around for a bit then go sit on the teeter-totter where Crystal is playing the guitar. We chat for awhile about the latest music – Taylor Swift, some Disney sensation or other, and Chris Brown. At this point, Alexis comes up and with her whiniest voice and saddest eyes lets me know she wants some water. I laugh at the little drama queen, grab her tiny little hand and we head back towards the kitchen again.

#1

Alright. Entry #1 of Blogstravaganza. For the next week I will be sitting a house with unlimited Internet access (woohoo!) and a wicked view of western Belize and Guatemala, so in an attempt to pick up the slack I am going to blog every evening… maybe. Probably.

Unfortunately my partner in crime, Lucie, has headed back to France last Friday and I already miss her like crazy. Don’t worry, we made sure to send her off properly, with a cupcake party, a reggae dance party, and of course, our weekly Open Mic party at Perkup. I even (quite nervously) took to the stage with a farewell serenade of “Ain’t No Mountain High,” with the help of Merv. Ay yi yi. It was sad to see her go, but I am really glad to have had her around for the last couple months!

I’ve had a few other visitors since Lucie left, some big and some small, both horrible. I managed to go 20 years without ever acquiring the dreaded lice, but that streak came to an end about a week ago. You can imagine that in a home of 50 people Lice is not an uncommon occurrence, and the ladies found my fluster at it all quite entertaining. Edgar and Josiah just laughed at me so naturally I threatened to rub my head on them. My second set of visitors came in the form of 4 huge pitbulls and one “rare Canadian breed.” I’m not sure the owner realized that I am Canadian and have never seen a similar dog in my life. I was warned to be cautious of the dogs and sure enough, when I attempted to head out the next morning the dogs had slipped their collars and were waiting at my door in hopes of shredding me up into tiny little pieces. Getting a hold of someone crazy enough to tame the dogs back onto their leashes was quite a task and, long story short, I didn’t leave my house until 2:30 the next day. To say that I dislike dogs, pitbulls in particular, is an understatement.

When I finally made it in to KCH, the house was a bundle of activity as the kids are free from school for Easter break. It’s so great to have everyone home and running around. There’s always something going on. Every kid is so beautiful and amazing, and everyone has their place and role in the home. I love that I am part of this big family. Eighteen of the middle aged kids have headed out on a camping trip for the next few days, leaving the house significantly less busy than usual. They’ll be back Sunday, just in time for the annual Easter trip to Hopkins on Monday! I haven’t been south in Belize yet, so I’m excited to head to the beach with the kids for the day. Unfortunately I will likely still be recovering from a nasty sunburn I managed to acquire today…surprise, surprise.

Bedtime.

XO

Steph

nut(my life)shell

Life is pretty calm in the past couple weeks and I’ve settled back into routine. My days are spent at the home, doing lots of school and homework, waging war on the nasty dogs’ nasty tics, and just hanging out with all the kids. The kids can be a bit overwhelming at times, and sometimes I feel short on patience, but it usually only takes a giggle or hug from one of them to re-energize me and remind me why I love it here.

I spend a few evenings a week at Perkup with Lucie and we always laugh because we look kind of ridiculous sitting there on our laptops barely saying a word. It’s nice because we get on well and are perfectly comfortable just hanging out. Thursday nights are our favourite because it is open mic night. We are becoming regulars, and getting to know the others fairly well also. Andy and Merv often try unsuccessfully to recruit us as performers, but I have a bet with Merv. If he finishes the entire first twilight book Lucie and I may have to give in and take to the stage. :S I have been missing being able to play sports, but last weekend Merv gathered up a bunch of people and we played Volleyball at the YWAM base. I still say the other team cheated ;) but it was a great time either way.

I read stupid amounts these days. I will soon have exhausted the mini makeshift Library at Perkup and will have to get around to signing up for the real library. Lucie’s family is a good source to borrow books and movies from as well, so I’ve been catching up on the latest DVD’s here too. I’m not sure if Belize even knows that unpirated movies exist. They would probably be so confused as to why anyone would a) wait for the actual release date and b) pay more than $2 for the movie. I know it’s not entirely proper, but my movie knowledge is improving rapidly.

It’s fun getting to know the dialect here and learning the terminology. Sometimes I can’t figure out what the kids are saying to me so I just smile, and say something ambiguous. “What?... What?... What?... Umm, Yeah, Maybe.”

Lucie speaks very English, I speak very Canadian, and we’re constantly surrounded by Creole, so we are inadvertently picking up bits and pieces of each others’ dialects. There are different degrees of Creole, I think. Some is more concentrated, but some just sounds like broken English with a few Creole words thrown in. I can understand it if it’s not spoken too quickly, but I cannot always decipher it from just improper use of English.

Ie) English: Can I have some chewing gum?

Creole: Me can have chingum?

I don’t imagine I’ll ever be fluent in Creole, but it can be amusing to listen to.

It seems to be a fun game, or maybe just a conversation starter, for people to bet on my Nationality. Most of the time they are actually right. Sometimes I am too nice, or don’t wear enough makeup to be American, or people can “Just tell” that I am Canadian, whatever all of that means. The other day a few locals at Perkup thought I might be Dutch (or something weird, I forget) and we ended up talking about Canada for awhile. My answer is always the same, “Yep… Canada’s cold.” Turns out, one of the men had spent some time in Canada a few years back and apparently misses it like crazy. By the end of the conversation, he was tearing up and another guy had presented me with a ”fly shoo-er” on behalf of Belize.

Speaking of frigid temperatures, Belize has been FREEZING lately. I have no idea the actual temperature, (I’m pretty sure Belizean thermometers only register either “hot” or “cold”) but I have been wearing jeans and sweatpants as much as I do in Canada – although, this may partially be due to the fact that, until yesterday, I hadn’t done laundry for a month. The locals don’t mind because it is a nice break from the sweltering temperatures, and they often laugh at me for being cold, considering the climate I’ve been accustomed to for the last 19 (almost 20!) years.

Every week, Lucie and her parents take a few of the kids to a hotel at Cahal Pech, right outside San Ignacio, to hang out by the pool for the day. I joined in as the “white orphan” on Sunday and it was lots of fun swimming and playing, and chatting with some of the girls. Even though it wasn’t overly hot, my albino skin soaked up more rays than it can handle and I am currently paying the price for forgetting to slather on SPF beforehand. Oops. The kids find it amusing to press their fingers onto my skin to see how it goes white and then watch it fill back in with colour.

In my life, I always said I would NEVER own a dog (or any animal for that matter), but low and behold, I have another roomie aside from a couple Canadians and some roaches (Side note – I thought my cleaning habits were keeping them at bay lately, but apparently they just come out less in cold weather, shucks.) Everyone and their mom (literally) has a dog here. They’re all pretty gross, but they are basically Belize’s version of a home security system. It belongs to one of the ladies at KCH, and she is actually a really good dog so I won’t complain.

I try to remember to appreciate every day I have here because I know that June 23^rd is going to sneak up on me soon and steal me away forever. Okay well not forever; Belize isn’t going to be rid of me that easily ;)

XO

Steph

Projects, Serving, and Such

I suck at blogging; sorry I haven’t updated in forever. I’m not actually that sorry, it just means I’ve been busy, which is good, right?

The boys (Josiah and Edgar) are so great. We are BFF’s and perfectly comfortable around each other so class goes by fairly quickly and we all have a pretty good time. Time has awarded me their respect and with that comes the authority I need to keep them focused on the task at hand without too much lolly-lagging. (If that is not a word bring it up with my mom) Of course, teaching is still challenging, but I am figuring out what works and seeing a lot of progress with the boys.

There is a group of eight girls from Toronto staying at my (Leonie’s) house right now. They seem fine, but I’ve not seen much of them because I’ve been hanging out with the PROJECT SERVE team instead! It was so so great to see some familiar faces and spend time with some of the most amazing people I know. It was absolutely unreal to see the team get to know and love the kids that I have so much affection for. To see them experience the exact moments I experienced a month ago, knowing the exact emotions flowing through them at that second in time was incredible. I am ecstatic that they got to taste the joy I feel every single day I spend with these kids, and have them share and understand this part of my life.

They came to the children’s home for the first couple afternoons they were here. They played at the park, spun kids around and around… and around and around, allowed themselves to be dragged by the hand all over the place as the wee ones showed them any and everything, took thousands of pictures, raced laps around the building (usually losing to their speedy counterparts) and attempted to absorb as much as they could in the short time they would spend as Belizeans. They adored it.

My church had a barbeque on Saturday so I helped bring lunch to the team at the YWAM base and got to be an adopted member for the day. We came back into town after lunch, shopped a bit, tested out a favourite café of ours in Belmopan, shopped some more, had dinner, and headed back to the base for the evening. The night was relaxed, getting reacquainted with good friends, and getting to know the rest of the team as well. I am pretty sure Belize dropped to Canadian temperatures that night because it was definitely the coldest I have been in over a month. Brr. Around 5am we were awoken by a beautiful serenade from about a thousand howling dogs, and for some reason it was the funniest thing I’ve ever experienced and I about died laughing. I am still laughing about this actually, as I relive this moment again. Anyway, we headed to church a bit later that morning, (the church I’ve been attending, actually – it’s great… the pastor is American and quite engaging, and the majority of the worship is all familiar, which is nice) and led a Sunday school program for the kids. The regular Sunday school lady had a bit of a ‘bee in her bonnet ‘(this little gem in my vocabulary can also be accredited to my mom) but other than that everything went really well! After church we split off into small groups and were taken into the homes of some of the members of the church. Wow. This was one of the most humbling and amazing experiences of my life. People who’ve got next to nothing sacrificed so much in order to serve and bless us. Belize has quite a few sub-cultures – Creoles, Garifuna, even Mennonites all over the place! Laurelle, Kaitlyn and I headed to Las Flores (a region in Belmopan) to spend time with a Mayan family. It was unbelievable. I’m sorry, Canadian cooking has NOTHING on Belizean cooking. Rule #1: no meal is complete without rice. Lunch was amazing, and we got to spend the afternoon with some of the cutest kids in the world, and get to know the amazing ladies that raised them. I often forget that I live in Central America. I live in a fairly well off neighborhood, considering, and don’t always realize how much of this country is consumed by poverty. It is incredible to be slapped in the face with the reality of how lucky we truly are. We take everything for granted on a daily basis: electricity, running water, clothes, finished houses, security, food to get us through the day, health, family, education, and SO much more. The house was little more than a concrete shell, and the family made sure we each sat on a rickety chair at the tiny table while the adults ate outside and the kids sat on the floor. After lunch I got to know the ladies a little better as we watched a few of the boys play with their homemade basketball net. We wandered around the neighborhood a bit (there were chickens all over the place!) and before we knew it, it was time to head back to the base. I feel so privileged to have spent time with people who truly know how to serve and cherish the opportunity to do so. I hope to one day be half as selfless and full of joy as they are.

On Monday the team joined me at the home once again, and treated the entire Children’s Home to a fried chicken dinner! The kids were SO happy and excited, and the team was quickly infected with their smiles as well. We headed back to the base to rest up for the next day’s road trip to… Caye Caulker!

The Belizean coastline is scattered with tropical islands that are absolutely GORGEOUS! We drove to Belize City early in the morning, and spent an hour on the open Caribbean sea, arriving on the first Island, Caye Caulker, around 10am. We then grabbed some equipment and hopped in another boat to snorkel in the worlds’ second largest barrier reef! It was awesome. The salty ocean water was crystal clear as we meandered our way around the coral checking out fish and getting freaked out by eels and barracudas. We moved to a second spot and hung out with some stingrays for a while. They were completely harmless, and quite slimy! After soaking up a bit of sun (a little too much for some people… this girl not included, woo!) we headed back for lunch and afternoon shopping. It was so cool to walk along the street and see the beautiful azure ocean on both sides of us! We headed back to Belmopan a sleepy bunch after a day of sun and snorkeling.

Back to work Wednesday; the team, leading chapel and kid’s club and me, home schooling. Today (Thursday) was kind of a sad day. The team visited the Children’s Home for the last time, saying goodbye to the kids that will forever occupy a place in their hearts, and getting ready to head home. I met them again in the evening at Perkup, my favourite coffee shop, for Open Mic night to wrap up their time in Belize. Lucie and I arrived early and were thankful when the team made it there so we didn’t have to suffer through any more awkward poetry or tone deaf squeak- I mean, singing. (It wasn’t thaaaat bad, only a couple of the performances were painful). Gill Walker braved the crowd, grabbed a guitar and sang a couple beautiful songs with her beautiful voice. Everyone was captivated; she did absolutely amazing!

Much too quickly it was time for the team and I to go our separate ways. It was hard to say goodbye, and I wish they could have stayed longer, but the time had managed to slip through our fingers, as it always seems to do, and Canada needed to steal them back. Au Revoir!

My life is reverting back to normal now, but I feel very fortunate to have been able to walk through this life changing experience with the team. You are all amazing people and have sooo many wonderful things waiting for you in the future. Miss y’all already!! Thanks for hangin out.

Annnnnnnd that is what I’ve been up to lately! Phew, congrats if you made it through all that writing!

I promise not to make you wait so long for the next update this time!

XO

Steph