Just a tad late..

So as most of you know, I am no longer in Belize, I'm in France!

I've set up my second blog to chronicle my time spent here, and hopefully I will update more diligently this time around.

There is a link on the right hand side that will lead you to my blog for france, but if that's a bit complicated just click here -> La Vie Francais

Anyway, I have one more post that I wrote shortly before I left Belize which I will dedicate to my mom for not forgetting the time I mentioned I had written it and not gotten around to posting it. Here ya go. Thanks for following along on my Belizean adventure and for all of your thoughts and prayers along the way. Enjoy.

Sitting out on the terrace in my favourite spot on the railing, I look out at the same city I saw I saw for the first time a few months ago and reflect on the last phase in my life. It’s a strange feeling to take in the surroundings that have shed their previous mask of unfamiliarity, yet are as intriguing to me as they were that day, 5 short months ago. The brightly coloured houses are as beautiful and charming as ever, and the road, though slightly eroded from the pounding spurts of Belizean rainfall, holds countless memories of trips up and down, to and from this place I’ve come to call home. I sit and breathe in the hot humid air as I try to ignore the ever-present charade of howling canines attempting to relieve all the citizens of a decent night’s sleep. Though I’m still here, I can’t help but miss this place already.

I leave in just a few days shy of three weeks and I’m not quite sure how to feel. On the one hand, it will be great to refamiliarize the faces of family and friends, snuggle in my own bed amidst the comfort of air conditioning, and reacquaint myself with the casualties of my daily Canadian life. However, the other hand feels much heavier, as it bears the weight of dozens of relationships that will be left behind when I go. Knowing that I will not see the beautiful faces I’ve grown to love and adore, overflowing with so much joy and laughter every day, devastates me. It’s hard to comprehend what it will be like to be so much further than a quick bicycle ride away from them at any given moment. Time is ticking away ominously in the back of my mind telling me to live not only every day, but also every moment to the absolute fullest, because they continue to slip quickly through my grasp, no matter how tightly I try to hold on to them.

I have been so blessed to be able to partake in this experience and it’s been nothing short of incredible. I know I won’t soon go a day without the faces of so many great friends and extraordinary kids gracing my mind with their presence. For now I will just cherish my dwindling time here, and long for the day when Belize and I will be united once again.

Before and After Pt. 2

Things I miss

-The 95% lower chance of catching lice

-Downloading Music

-Showering without the company of spiders/cockroaches/scorpions
-’02 Accord

-My favourite time of the year in Saskatchewan. End of Winter.

-Jale and La Sibs

-A house that is NOT complete with a giant ingrown beehive.

-Cheap apples. Mmm.

-R.I.P crappy television set with missing volume and channel controls.

-Lucie!

-Not sweating 24/7

-A phone with visible numbers on the keypad. And if it types in English T9 I wouldn’t complain.

-Miss Hofstra

Things I love

-Roomies under the age of 63!!! - Jade, Landon, Charis, and Brooke; all good friends from SK!

-Babies in Onesies.

-The shocked faces JR and Laquisha make when they lose their balance and almost fall. Priceless.

-Death Hikes through Jaguar reserves.

-Riding the sketchiest Ferris Wheel EVER at the Belizean Fair.

-Fresh Coconut right off the tree.

-Sitting on the bench at the park with Edgar laying beside me, head on my lap.

-Swimming in the River with the kids.. and managing to survive. Barely.

-Reggae/Dancehall/Punta beats!

-Getting my hair braided by Lelani.. even when she gets lazy and only finishes half.

-Swimming in the pool on the beach in Hopkins - Gimme a break, I know the ocean is better, but I’ve had one too many greetings from a Jellyfish, thank you.

-Edgars dance moves… usually on the verge of inappropriate.

-Lime and Watermelon juice.

-Evening chats while being walked home by one of the guys.

-Jade’s purple clothes.

-Ideal’s (Freezies) at the park with the boys.
-Days when the kids have no homework, or better yet – no school.

-Cappucino’s at Perkup.

-Babies peeing on Brooke and Alex rather than myself

-Swinging with baby Benjamin on my lap, looking down 10 seconds later to find he’s fast asleep.

-Cholis with the crew.

-Double/Triple up days at Digicell

-Squeezing around the laptop to watch a legit movie. Wait a second..

-Shayannie living life as a musical

-Fake Quarrels with Coleen, ending up in giggles.

-Mini Ice Cream from the Grocery store.

-Victory Banana’s at the top of Xunantunich

-Ziplining through the heart of the jungle

-Laquisha, grabbing her arm, “This isn’t muscle! All I see is skinny!”

-Speaking a little Creole (Attemping to, anyway)

- The secret ingredient to Steph Ardell’s version of Belizean cooking. Fajita Seaoning.

-Belizean boys quoting Enrique Iglasias hahaha.

-Making dinner with all the roomies. (With Fajita spice, of course)

-Casual bike wipeouts in the ditches.

-Rosita convincing Alex she is going to get a parasite from the river.

-Josiah cuddling while we read, even though he’s mad at me.

-Watching Sean, Laquisha’s big brother, hold her up with one hand, pretending to throw her over the fence.

-Reading NYLON to sooth my fashion cravings for awhile.

-When the kids get offended if I haven’t given them a hug yet.

-Keiron, DJ, and Mia’s constant thumb sucking.

-Playing the bubbles game while bathing the toddlers.

-Watching the waves crash onto the shore at 5am in Hopkins.

-Belizean dance lessons with Esther and Gladys. Shakira’s got nothin on us.

-Trash talking during Bball with the boys.

-Lounging by the pool at Cahal Pech

-Alex’s trip to the hospital… from stubbing her toe. Ohh Ahmed

-Edgar’s Fashion sense. Black wifebeater, black shorts with flames, and too-big hiking boots. Babe Magnet.

-Playing “Stick out your tongue” Tag with Marlon.

-Alexia dragging Benjamin around the play room, giggling like crazy at Benji’s HUGE grin.

-Listening to Hannah’s beautiful voice as she plays guitar at perkup or the fair.

-Riding people home on my bike.

-Endless conversations with Jamelia about the latest drama with her Juvie.

-Waking up in the morning only to wander over to Jade (and Alex’s) room and fall back asleep.

-Booty wars with Xena.

-Yoga in the cool breeze on the deck.

-Cheesy poses for pictures.

-Having an actual tan.

-Being threatened by Edgar, “I’ma tell my girlfriend on you”

-Realizing more and more that Belizean life’s not so different from Canadian life.

-Dj giggling when someone trips or falls. A boy after my own heart.

-Sleepovers at Faye’s, and never being quite sure what’s going to come out of her mouth next.

-Nightly Devotions at the home

-Nathan’s face plastered with the cutest smile in the world, 24/7.

-Time slipping away unnoticed while we talk for hours on the terrace.

-Jacob enticing giggles out of the toddlers right before turning around to whop his brother. Ohhh Jake.

-Meeting many great people from all over the world.

-Sitting on the deck for either a) Silent lightning storms or b) Pounding rain

-Josiah Reading with hardly any help!!!!

-Having my parents see and take part in my life here… and meet the kids that are the loves of my life.

-Really great Belizean friends.

-Walking alongside Alex on her Project Serve makeup trip. Proud of you girl.

-Hanging out with the cutest, most amazing kids in the world every single day.

-Feeling 100% at home and absolutely loving life.

Again, I could keep writing memory after memory.. but I'd rather go hang out with some kids!

Skip To Ma Lu

It’s 4am. I have given up on the prospect of sleeping and am sitting on the beach in Hopkins, watching the silent lightning and attempting to collect my thoughts. I am in Belize. It’s still a hard concept to fully wrap my head around. Sometimes people ask me what brought me to Belize and I’m realizing that I never really have a conclusive answer. The truth is that I don’t exactly know how or why I ended up here, but after three months, here’s a few things I DO know:

-After a summer at Kadesh and deciding not to go back to school, everything just sort of led me in this direction and practically jumped into place.

- I feel at home here, and Belize will always be a part of me. There is no point in my future where I see the absence of Belize and what it has come to mean to me.

-I suppose in some ways I am, but I don’t really feel like a missionary. To me, mission work is sacrificing your time to help those in need. I feel so fortunate to be in this gorgeous country with awe-inspiring children that being here is hardly a sacrifice. Also, I am not needed here. Appreciated, yes. Needed, no. I have grown and learned so much in the past three months that I am definitely the beneficiary in my relationship with Belize.

-I am so excited to be joined by good friends for the last couple months of my stay, but I am also really glad I got to learn and experience Belize for myself first. It was challenging, of course, but I have proved to myself that I am capable of exploring new possibilities outside my comfort zone.

-I am in love with these kids. EVERY single girl, boy, baby, young woman, and young man in the home has irrevocably woven themselves into my heart in some way or other and no matter how devastating it will be for me to leave come June, I wouldn’t change it for the world.

I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to pinpoint exactly how or why I ended up here… but I definitely know that this is precisely where I am supposed to be.

lil' daddy

I started to write the previously promised second edition of my list of things I love and miss, and realized that I have way too many priceless moments involving Edgar to not give him his own entry. Sometimes I just sit back and watch him. It's mesmerizing. He is one of the funniest kids I know, full of so much life and love; I enjoy every minute with him.

EDGAR:

-After putting on a new shirt, clean shorts, and nice sneakers, asks “Miss Stephanie” to smell the visibly wet spot where he’s just sprayed cologne.

-Rolls his eyes and sighs, “Oh my Josh”

-Currently holds the record for highest possible number of times a bike chain can slip off on the way to the park.

-Stands up, pulls the back of his shirt up, and proceeds to scratch his back on the wall… In the middle of class.

-Makes a joke, giggles, then suddenly serious – “Not funny Miss Stephanie”

-Visits my house and makes sure to share the popcorn with other kids... one piece at a time. When it’s time to leave, he folds up the bottom of his shirt to use as a bowl to stash some popcorn for the road says goodbye and heads out the door... only to return a minute later for a refill.

-Wears too-small wheelie shoes to the park and can hardly make it back home because his feet are dying.

-Lectures Leonie - “Miss Stephanie says we should be nice to people”

-Somehow knows everyone in town. Ohhh Papito.

-Tries to do smooth dance moves and stumbles on his huge hiking boots.

-Tries to sneak up and scare Tanya and, again, stumbles on his hikers and wipes out.

-Burps so he can show off his manners – “Eshcuse me”

-Although referred to by most of the family as "Papito" he much prefers being called Edgar. Possibly due to its higher likelihood of attracting girlfriends.

- Steph – “Ou la la!”

Edgar – “Ay Loo La!”

Steph – “No, Ou la la!”

Edgar – “Ay Loo Loo”

-Consistently interesting perspective on things. Gnome = Chihuahua man. Obviously.

-To shoo the dogs, runs/skips away yelling “Ya Ya Ya!”

-Steph – “No way, Jose!” Edgar (And Josiah) – “Yes Jose!”

-Joins the kids in making crafts and designs for himself a pink sparkly crown.

-Loves to smile, run, dance, learn, quote movies, giggle, and is always jam packed with energy. He's a confident, easy going kid, but not often suprises me with moments sensitivity and intuition. My life is definitely more interesting with Edgar around.

One Day At A Time

Yesterday as I rode home through the rolling hills of the breathtaking jungle in a sketchy school bus crammed full of seventy some people, with one kid on my lap, one sleeping on my shoulder, and a tiny baby somehow sleeping quite soundly in my arms, I realized that that was one of those "once in a lifetime" moments that people always talk about. In fact, in the past few months of my life I have had innumerable moments like this. I feel so fortunate to be where I am, hanging out with some of the most amazing kids in the world, literally, and getting to be a part of their lives, just as they are now unarguably a huge part of mine. Every time I look down into the bright eyes of a child I am blown away by how incredibly beautiful and full of life they are. Kids have such honest and naive perspectives of the world, appreciating the small things in life, as we so often overlook and take for granted. It's funny how we try to teach and prepare them for reality and the future, when really we should be learning to live in and appreciate the present as a young child does. We get so caught up in planning and stressing about what's to come that we forget to appreciate our current surroundings, often letting these "once in a lifetime" moments slip past us without a thought. Time never stops ticking. The future is untouchable anyway so why are we always striving to escape the present. I am asking you now to take a moment, stop worrying about tomorrow, and thank God for every blessing in your life today.

Tour Guide

I’ve decided to give you all a little tour of the home. This is my general routine upon arrival at the home most days – when the kids are all home, anyway.

I pull up on my trusty one speed shiny purple beach cruiser, and secure it to a pole so the little kids who seem to lack a single ounce of fear can hop on and wipe out. Laquisha and I have this conversation often:
L: You can carry me on your bike? (Can I ride your bike)

S: No, you’re too little. You weigh less than my pinky finger.

L: No! And I weigh more than your thumb, too! (I’m completely serious, this is her rebuttal)

I turn the key in the lock, successfully ending the argument, and walk in through the kitchen, where a few of the ladies and the older girls are teasing each other in creole and cackling away. After saying hello and updating Faye on Mya, her dog that lives at the volunteer house with me (the one pitbull that I actually don’t mind, probably because she doesn’t want to eat me), I usually run into a bit of a traffic jam in the skinny hallway, often due to a wobbly wandering baby. By the time I hit the computer room I’ve usually run into a couple kids with a few tears and an argument that needs dissipating. More often than not, one of the girls, usually Mia or Lee-Lee has made Josiah cry, poor guy. As I stop to talk to Reyna or Zaira, Edgar sneaks up behind me, gives a little shove and yells “BLAH” followed by a little giggle. He usually then has something really important to tell me in all seriousness, like a new scrape or bike injury. Turning the corner into the playroom I find various combinations of kids sprawled on the couches watching Hannah Montana or something along those lines. I greet the Gual’s and Boi’s and sit down to hang out for a bit, strategically avoiding the area where Jacob is being beat up by Alicia and Colleen, probably getting what he deserves, little punk haha. As soon as the little ones notice I am there, they wander over, knowing full well I’ve got lots of hugs to spare them. Nathan usually slides under one arm as DJ crawls right onto my lap and pops his thumb into his mouth. As soon as I can no longer stand Miley’s crazy antics I continue out to the back porch where Dora, Indora, and Lorena are hanging out, chatting and folding the laundry and keeping an eye on a baby or two. I like spending time here. There’s something calming about folding towel after towel, and Dora keeps me up to date on the house gossip and drama. The basketball court is usually scattered with a few of the older boys and we greet each other with friendly threats to whoop each other at the sport. They reluctantly admit I can hold my own on the court and sometimes we have pretty good matches. Heading towards my little classroom in the front yard I usually run into Marlon on his silver bike and agree to hand over my camera because he loves to take videos while riding his bike around and around the house. It kills the batteries but I usually get cute clips of the kids with Marlon singing made up songs in the background. Nearing the playground I grab whatever Benjamin’s got in his mouth away from him, and try unsuccessfully to wipe the dirt off his face. I scoop him up, and depending on the day, he either squirms and whines or won’t let me put him down for the next half hour. JR, Mia, and Kayleen love to chase each other around on the bikes; putting obstacles in their paths to make the ride more interesting. I call them crazy, chase them around for a bit then go sit on the teeter-totter where Crystal is playing the guitar. We chat for awhile about the latest music – Taylor Swift, some Disney sensation or other, and Chris Brown. At this point, Alexis comes up and with her whiniest voice and saddest eyes lets me know she wants some water. I laugh at the little drama queen, grab her tiny little hand and we head back towards the kitchen again.

#1

Alright. Entry #1 of Blogstravaganza. For the next week I will be sitting a house with unlimited Internet access (woohoo!) and a wicked view of western Belize and Guatemala, so in an attempt to pick up the slack I am going to blog every evening… maybe. Probably.

Unfortunately my partner in crime, Lucie, has headed back to France last Friday and I already miss her like crazy. Don’t worry, we made sure to send her off properly, with a cupcake party, a reggae dance party, and of course, our weekly Open Mic party at Perkup. I even (quite nervously) took to the stage with a farewell serenade of “Ain’t No Mountain High,” with the help of Merv. Ay yi yi. It was sad to see her go, but I am really glad to have had her around for the last couple months!

I’ve had a few other visitors since Lucie left, some big and some small, both horrible. I managed to go 20 years without ever acquiring the dreaded lice, but that streak came to an end about a week ago. You can imagine that in a home of 50 people Lice is not an uncommon occurrence, and the ladies found my fluster at it all quite entertaining. Edgar and Josiah just laughed at me so naturally I threatened to rub my head on them. My second set of visitors came in the form of 4 huge pitbulls and one “rare Canadian breed.” I’m not sure the owner realized that I am Canadian and have never seen a similar dog in my life. I was warned to be cautious of the dogs and sure enough, when I attempted to head out the next morning the dogs had slipped their collars and were waiting at my door in hopes of shredding me up into tiny little pieces. Getting a hold of someone crazy enough to tame the dogs back onto their leashes was quite a task and, long story short, I didn’t leave my house until 2:30 the next day. To say that I dislike dogs, pitbulls in particular, is an understatement.

When I finally made it in to KCH, the house was a bundle of activity as the kids are free from school for Easter break. It’s so great to have everyone home and running around. There’s always something going on. Every kid is so beautiful and amazing, and everyone has their place and role in the home. I love that I am part of this big family. Eighteen of the middle aged kids have headed out on a camping trip for the next few days, leaving the house significantly less busy than usual. They’ll be back Sunday, just in time for the annual Easter trip to Hopkins on Monday! I haven’t been south in Belize yet, so I’m excited to head to the beach with the kids for the day. Unfortunately I will likely still be recovering from a nasty sunburn I managed to acquire today…surprise, surprise.

Bedtime.

XO

Steph